Joking around at the Hollywood Sign

I could say a lot of things about Los Angeles, but I’m going to go with my mother’s advice here: “If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all”.

No, actually I will say something so that people driving to the city of angels know what to expect:

A skateboard Zombie on Hollywood Boulevard.

Los Angeles is a gateway to hell where driving is concerned. The highways are up to 8 lanes wide in each direction, there are plenty of exits to the left and the locals seem to have no understanding of basic tools such as spedometers and turning signals. Finding your way around the city (which takes about 2.5 to 3 hours to cross btw) without a GPS navigator or at the very least a map is pretty much impossible.

If you don’t have anywhere specific to be or something specific to do you’re going to find yourself lost most of the time. The city is way too big and the few attractions are spaced very far apart. I would say a rental car is a must but then you’d have to drive in the city which is damn near suicide.

Bring a wheel barrell of money if you plan on doing anything exciting. The good attractions like Six Flags and Universal etc cost from $50 upwards for a one day pass. The food is also rediculously expensive unless you’re willing to slum it and eat at fast food joints.

Hollywood Boulevard is a joke. There is a star on the Walk of Fame for pretty much everyone and their dog and the famous celebrity impersonators mostly look like they’ve found their costumes in a dumpster. There are some exceptions but for the most part they are seriously crappy.

You can’t get up to or anywhere close to the Hollywood sign. There is however a place where you get a fantastic view of it. I found it courtesy of this link.

Go to AAA and get the map package (containing no less than 9 maps) and the two guide books covering Los Angeles and California. They’ll help you find your way.

Go to Santa Monica Pier at night, get a table at Bubba Gump Shrimp Company and order the Shrimp Rigatoni or “… Of Course We Have Scampi!” followed by a Mud Pie for dessert. Probably the best shrimp dishes I’ve ever had (and I’ve had a lot of shrimp in my life). Stay far away from the Shrimp Tacos – they are boring as hell.

And finally: If you’re planning on going to Los Angeles, make sure you have time and the means to drive up to Solvang about 3 hours away and stay for a few days. It’s a little slice of Denmark in the middle of the Santa Barbara hills and well worth the trip (post will follow shortly).

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